Aha - there is a full moon

There is a full moon. That explains an awful lot. Like why I hardly slept last night, and why my colleague, who is a really sweet old man, made me really annoyed today.
At least I recognised that there was something going on and locked myself into my office, more or less, because I really DON'T want to shout at the old man even though god knows I felt like it today.

But it is the full moon...

IF I hear one single complaint...

If the mosquitoes in Bilbao complains only ONCE that they haven't been properly fed, I am going to get really really upset.
I SWEAR I have fed enough mosquitoes than anyone, and the mosquito babies fed on my blood will be enough to feed a whole colony of birds. There is hardly a single spot on my body that doesn't itch!

I am the best mosquitoe repellant anyone can have. The other people who get bitten get bitten only by accident. Because they could't find an empty spot to land on...

Bilbao, northern Spain

Guggenheim, Bilbao, July 2012

A long weekend in northern Spain, Bilbao. A wonderful experience, not the least food wise. The food in the Basque region is so much more flavour full than the food in the rest of Spain - which, by the way, is also very good, but compared to basque food they are a bit behind, the Spanish doesn't offer the same variation. One of the reasons, I am sure, being that the basque region is such a green region, and also a region facing the Atlantic, which means a lot of variation in what you can use to cook from (just like the food is different in Italy depending on which italian region you are in, with cow milk in the north, and goat cheese in the south, to mention one). Basque food excels, if you ask me.

The tapas, or as they are called here, pintxos, are to die for. 

On of the tapas you find everywhere, in, it seems, every bar in Bilbao, is Gilda, a little thing on a stick - olives, sardelles (a tiny fillet of fish, salty, a bit like anchovies but with a little bit less sharp flavour (it IS actually a type of anchovies but the tinned anchovies that we get is not real anchovies but a special herring - yes, it is complicated...), and some pimento, spanish chili. Olive oil drizzled over, in some cases also topped with chopped onion. Ad this simple and salty snack I just can't get enough of.

There are other tapas you find everywhere, jamon (ham), the airdried one, with cheese, tortillas, but also various other kinds of cheese, other hams, interesting little bites of fish, fried vegetables, and so on. Bilbao is really food heaven!

And with the belly full of tapas I am out exploring this exciting little city, a little city I can reach with a direct flight from the area I live in.

Bilbao is an easy city to visit, easy to walk, inexpensive, and with a lot of interesting things to see, not the least the fascinating Guggenheim museum in the centre of town, Guggenheim museum that was designed by Frank Geary who also, as it happens, designed houses in Medienhafen, Düsseldorf - so when I get to Bilbao this time, I feel at home. I recognise the atmosphere around the museum, the ambiance. 

I've been here before, but never did I experience and see as much as I did this time.

And I will come back.
 

I don't like women being objectified

I don't like women being objectified they say. And then they post a picture of themselves in a bikini and say that all bodies are beautiful, regarding of the size.

And just there they just objectified the female body themselves, didn't they?


Skinny or not, you still turned the body into an object.

Why IN my lap

Hot like hell (which I don't mind, but I'm in office clothes). The train has lots of available seats. I have my bag next to me, on the seat, and my computer on my lap as I am doing some work.  Remember there is lots of space. I haven't taken up space so someone else has to stand.

Bit of a headache because of the weather.

And then there is the man who boards the train with his friend. And he insists on sitting where my bag is. Despite lots of seats. Despite me clearly working.

But as I only have one ticket I - maybe not totally happy looking but still - put my computer in stand by mode, collect my things and give him the seat. It is just not worth discussing.

But then he questions me when I move to another seat where I won't have to have my bag in my lap. Well, he could have picked the spot next to his friend.  Or they could have gotten another seat next to someone who wasn't working. There is no way he would have insisted on the seat next to me if I hadn't been a young (ish) woman. NO way had he done it.

At least let me move to which flipping available seat I want!

(And yes, had the train been full or even half full I would have understood. It wasn't.)
 

Dinner parties

I love cooking for many. I love cooking in general, it relaxes me and makes me think about something else.
I like hosting dinner events. Or food events in general. I love having people over.

But I do also realise that part of it is that when I am with people, I am less alone, and I don't get lonely. Of course one of the reasons why I like to have friends over is that I don't really enjoy eating alone, and with many friends being in long term relationships and others being very busy, I sometimes think that I have to make sure people remember me, remember that I am here, so that I keep being included. And therefor I have to invite. And of course there is a lot of truth in that - if I didn't make an effort, why would they. But I wouldn't HAVE to do it by throwing dinner parties if I didn't want to, I could do it in other ways.

But I really don't cook for others to be nice to them, (OK, there are exceptions, but as a general rule), I cook for others so that I get to enjoy their company. Selfish maybe?

Bosses

I normally don't mention work on the blog, but this time I have to. Had a meeting with my boss today. I can get a bit frustrated when I meet with him because sometimes he is almost a bit scary (and I thought that before he became my boss too) especially when he questions you, because I don't know what he expects and what to answer all the time (he does for example assume that I know things that I don't always know) but at the same time he is really really good boss, and he has been kind of a mentor for me.

Fact is he is the best boss I have ever had, because he is a boss that challenges me. And even though he does it in a rough way and he isn't good at expressing positive things all the time, I do come down and land (after my first frustration that also leads to confusion) and feel that I have new power and new things to take care off. New things to do.

And while I don't talk to him about the every day things - for that I am getting guidance from another really really good guy - I have learned so much from him.

From both.

And you know what? That means the world.


(But I still find it a bit stressful to have meetings with him from time to time, especially since I haven't had a chance to actually see him in years but only have the meetings via telephone conference. I don't love telephone conferences. The non verbal communication is fricking hard to cover over the phone...)

Sun through the window

I don't know if it's possible to get a better start of the day than a cup of excellent coffee and breakfast which also contains fresh fruits, sitting down in the kitchen, while the sun warms your skin through the open window.

And knowing you wont be alone in the evening but among good friends and their loved ones.

Today is a good day

Dinner for four, no for 7, no for...

For 14...

Tomorrow.

And really really really looking forward to it too.
When you come from a big family 14 is just a few extra and doesn't really matter. 10 or 14, as long as there are enough plates and cutlery. Which, I might add, is at the moment the big problem. It doesn't feel like a very polite thing to let guests eat with plastic, does it...

(And no worries, it is not a real dinner, you know, sit down with several courses, it is actually just a small gathering. But it will be fun, and most of the food is anyhow prepared already so that I have time to socialise tomorrow.)

Sun bathing

I LOVE the sun. Love it.
I HATE sunbathing. HATE it.

I am Japanese in my sun behavior, plenty of sunscreen, and I would never try and get tanned. OK, maybe not Japanese but at least French, I love wandering around a nice day but you will not see me sunbathing. I may sit and drink a coffee and accidentally get some sun but that is it. (Although, I admit, I do think tanned legs look nice. And I think many people, those who have the pigmentation for it, look very pretty when they are sunkissed. But there is also a difference between sunkissed and "lets see if we can turn this skin to leather" tan).

I have been in Germany for quite some time, a country where everybody is MAD when it comes to sun. This is a country filled with tanning booths (and very wrinkly people I might add...). So even after openly have said about a billion time that I don't like sunbathing, the Germans just don't get it.

As late as today - because we have fantastic weather - I was contacted by a friend who suggested sunbathing (not much of a friend if he doesn't get that basic thing about me though, I guess, but then again also an ex of mine, after having known me for years, would suggest sunbathing... ). Apparently it is very very hard for someone from Germany to understand the phrase "I hate sunbathing".

Signed: "She who wears sunscreen factor 50+ on the face, by the sea and in the ski-slopes..."

It bothers me - FB

It bothers me the way FB handles security. It is not just that they confirm that the user exists if you try and log on with the wrong password on a computer that that account has been logged on to before by telling you that the password is incorrect (normally a system should just confirm that the user ID or the password is incorrect, if you know that the user ID is right you have a bigger chance of hacking an account, but they are also "helpful" and tell you if you just made a small mistake, if that is what you did, as well as confirm if the account was recently changed.

If you type in an old password they will also tell you that - plus the time when that password stopped being the correct password, i e when it was changed.

VERY helpful if you are a hacker, because then you can often figure out the system someone used for creating passwords - plus, since many people use the same passwords on different systems, you can test other systems that you know the person is using. VERY helpful, if you are a hacker, because often people didn't change everywhere or reuse passwords (so, if you don't know other accounts the person is using you can always come back to FB and hope he/she will reuse the same, in a few years, if not before. Good. If you are a hacker.

OH, and as you can see the picture? IF that email you are trying with isn't connected to a Facebook account, well, that's excellent, because you can now use it to create a fake account, and "be" another person. Convenient, if you are a fraudster. And if you don't want to do that, at least you know there is no point in trying to hack an account that doesn't exists.

I KNOW that Facebook are just trying to be helpful and make it easy for us, to make sure we use their services a lot, maybe do everything through FB in the future - but in my case it actually leads to me using it less and less. I'd rather have the hassle of having to log on than having my account hacked.

And that is one of the reasons I don't use any FB apps, why I am very careful with what links I follow, why I use a different email than my standard one, why I don't have any sensitive information on FB (including their "security" questions which may be the same as used elsewhere), I don't use the "keep me logged on" option, I would NEVER use a password I use somewhere else as well, nor reuse a FB password. And a bunch of other things.

FB are, I am afraid, giving me the impression that they are completely clueless...

It's picking up

Aha. The weather is picking up.

Just in time for when I am travelling out...

(Although I'm just out for a weekend so I have hopes that it will remain nice also when I'm back)

Life from the good side

It's funny how, all through life, also when things didn't at first appear so good, they always turned out for the best. I have had my share of rough, when I look back and compare, and I have seen this and that, many things things I never told anyone about, things that the people around me don't know about - it is just not worth talking about. But every not so good thing that happened, always lead to something really good in the end.
I don't think there is anything that happened to me I would honestly say I would want to have undone. There may be things I have done or not done to others that I wish I hadn't, but nothing that happened to me. I have moments that I can point at and say that I wish they hadn't lasted so long, and say that I wish I had seen it sooner - but on the other hand, if they hadn't happened the way they did, who knows where I had been now, because the timing was right right then.

I do definitely consider myself to be born under a lucky star.

And I am aware that others may look at me and some will say just that. On the other hand I know others, who live a different kind of life and are happy with that, will say quite the opposite. But I did get the life that suited me  - I am where I want to be right now, even though I know that I may want other things at a different time in life.

I do consider myself blessed.
I live in a great place, have great friends, can travel, and I am healthy.
I know I am not going to live here for the rest of my life, and I do know change is waiting around the corner, but I also know that right now, right this second, things are fantastic.

And they will be fantastic also in the future, if different. 

OOOHHH, I see blue sky!

OOOHHH, I see blue sky!!! It is so rare nowadays that it is actually worth blogging about!!!

It is not as bad as last summer was, at least it doesn't rain constantly and it is also not too cold, fact is I have been wearing a skirt a lot more often than I did last year and I have had the windows open, but I AM SO TIRED of grey sky, I need BLUE sky and summer - if this continues I think I need to move out. Soon.

Weekend in Sweden

Spent a July weekend in the south of Sweden, and also had a chance to see my parents, who were sweet enough to travel down to see me.

The cliffs of Skåne

How I miss the smell of the sea! I've always loved it but it's not until you don't feel it very often, until you are really far away, you realise just how much it means and how much you feel the salt in the air once you get close to the ocean...

I came back feeling very relaxed (despite some lack of sleep, as I also had attended some fun events, the reason I went to Sweden in the first place), and very productive.

And full of great ideas and inspiration.

I'd never move back but I love to visit. And I hope to get closer to the see again, sometime in the future, on a more permanent basis. Whatever permanent mean with me, I am as restless as ever and I don't ever want to settle down, I hope to contine to be like the dandylions that can live and grow wherever they happen to land...

Google, that is also not needed

Hi Google, do you remember that I mentioned that it's OK, you don't need to translate my Swedish emails into English? I still remember my Swedish...
Well, you know what? You can stop trying to translate my English emails to German as well, I would rather keep them in English, if that is OK? Please?

(I do prefer reading my personal mail in the language they were written in, but thanks for offering to help)

Dear Google

Dear Google.

I think it is really really sweet of you that you keep offering to translate my Swedish mails into English. But really, you can stop that now. I do still understand Swedish.

Even though my brothers may have doubted that when they were visiting.

I keep seeing familiar faces, faces I haven't seen in many years but are still familiar with - but it is never them. I just see familiar patterns in unfamiliar faces.

This morning my room was all of a sudden filled with a cologne, a male scent, a smell that I hadn't smelled in years. I lay awake for a while and smelled it before it disappeared again.

And people from the past are showing up in my dreams.

Something is telling me it is time to start listening...

Sore shoulders

I don't CARE if it is "easier" with more of a grapichal user interface, I really really really dislike Micrsoft Office 2010, it is a flipping nightmare especially for us women, you have to use the mouse more or less all the time which isn't just slower but also kills my shoulders and the shoulders of many other women.

Plus having to flip between the different tabs? Such a waste of time, I liked my menus. Thankfully there is the Quick Access Toolbar which I have customised a bit at least. Privately I'll stick to Open Office and Google Docs, at least with those I can work with my keyboard, with the arms close to the body. And it is faster too...

(Although I know, one should embrace change. And I do. Just not blindly and not all change. But I do the best of the situation and I try and save my shoulders as best as I can).

And remember one thing - about Domestic Violence

And remember one thing, talking about domestic violence:

Children do what you do, not what you say. If you stay with an abusive man, what message does that send to your daughter? Do you really want her to stay with an abusive man when SHE grows up?

coffee

There is a certain type of panic that grabs hold of your heart when you realise, 20 minutes before the only coffee place in Düsseldorf where you buy coffee (roasted there and freshly ground) closes, that you are almost out of coffee. Especially when it is on a Saturday, and shops are not allowed to be open on Sundays in Germany.

At least when you have gotten yourself seriously addicted to coffee.

OK, I KNOW that I have to cut down but this is not the time nor place to go cold turkey!

Thankfully I have a bicycle. I made it. 

Domestic Violence

1 out of 4 women are impacted, one way or another, by domestic violence, they say.
Yes, there are men that are abused and violated as well, and that is equally horrible. Everybody has the right to feel safe, and especially so in their own home.
And abuse is not just physical violence, abuse is so much more, and it is the steps that leads up to the violence as well.

Domestic violence is a problem everywhere, not the least in the western world, and domestic violence and abuse can happen everywhere, also where you least expect it, regardless of class, regardless of income, regardless of home area.

Be aware of it, be aware of the signs, and know that there is help out there.

There is a very good campain out there right now, the "Don't Cover it Up" campain with Lauren Luke.

You can also read more on the main page, http://refuge.org.uk/ - about the signs, about how to get help, and so forth. While THIS campain is UK based, domestic violence is something that exists everywhere, and much of the information on the website is universal...

Awareness is the first step towards stopping abuse.

And we all have a responsibility towards each other to be there and be aware!

A bit much

I haven't forgotten the blog, it is just a bit much right now, lots to do at work, lots to with my private life, plus summer is here and I would like to enjoy it while I can - so have patience...

And by the way; I am in NO WAY complaining, life is fantastic, work is really interesting and I have a lot of great challenges, and I love ths summer. So all is good.