Language course

I have signed up for a language course once a week. Thought it would be fun and that it is about time I learn a new language. Want to try something very different this time, something I haven't done before, a language that isn't one of the languages that "everybody" in the western world speaks. I wanted something far away from German.

Figured I will improve my German at the same time as the course will be in the foreign language but helped by German where needed. That way I will also get a better understanding of German, especially the grammar. I mean, I do speak German, but it is VERY far from perfect, and it takes time, especially writing. But I learn every day - and now I will increase that to include another language...

It will be fun.

Or just really scary.

But the good news is, I havent said anything about how well I need to learn the new language, quite frankly my goal right now is to get some basic understanding and learn to order a meal, anything else will be a very nice bonus.

We shall see, we shall see...

I am never hte less excited about it! What a challenge - and what a great new year resolution!

the heat is on

Or at least the heating.
Because now the real cold is on the way, the cold from Russia is on the way, even if the temperatures are expected to be between 0 and -8 this week, it seems it is going to be windy. I am not impressed, not at all. Although as long as it is also sunny I guess I can (perhaps) survive.


Snow and ice and cold is so much better when it is somewhere else than at home...

That odd moment

I really need to work on the signals I am sending out.

The good friend who really is a good friend, someone you thought you were really connecting with. On a friendship level. But really connected with.

And then that odd moment: "I think we should be just friends". And then the even more odd response, when I stare at him and spontaneously say "but... We ARE just friends?!?".

I really wish I could take that back and say "Oh, yes, you are right, I have thought about it and I think you are right", there was no reason for me to make him feel odd or awkward or anything, I should just have played along and pretended to be surprised or hurt or surprised or something. But to be honest, there was never any of that kind of chemistry - with this guy I only connected as a friend.

Which isn't to say that there aren't OTHER guys I might have some other interest in but not THIS guy.

Although to be honest, I value friendships tremendously, especially the friends I am getting close to. Probably more than anything else, because friendships tend to last. I adore the male friends who I know well and that come to me with all kinds of problems they may have - with women, with work, with everything. I thought this guy was one of them all along. But I think there is a difference in cultures, to be honest. In a way it was so much easier when I wasn't single, because with the friendships that I built when I was in a relationship there were never any doubt, when I was in a relationship it was always 100% clear that we were friends even if we came from different backgrounds, me and my new friends. Now all of a sudden I am making friends with guys who may not be so used to having friends "of the other gender" And guys who are used to women, or singles in general, being out there "looking". I am not. If Mr Right would come along, fine, but otherwise, I am perfectly happy and content.

Well, hopefully my friend doesn't have a problem with me not being devastated and hopefully we can really be friends, because that's really all I want from this guy. No awkwardness, no nothing else, just friendship. A good friendship. A good and sound friendship, because we have a lot to talk about and we really get along well...

It is really that strange to be happy having good friends and not be searching, and is it really that strange to have both female and male friends, married, single, with kids, without kids?

And on a separate note

And on a separate note I never understood why Ivanhoe picked the blond girl - but then again men seem to normally do that. Pick the blond chick, that is...

A general wednesday

Well, today at I am anyhow going to the cinema. What are you doing today?

I am quite excited about the cinema actually, I haven't seen a film in the cinema since... Well, since - and here I was about to use one of those sayings that we use but are really quite silly, it is enough to say it's been a while. A long while. Always so much else going on and when the weather is nice I don't want to go sit in some dark cinema, I want to be out and enjoy the light. Plus I sleep really well in front of a film, but I don't want to sleep in the cinema.

Today I am watching a dubbed film, something that normally is against my principles but sometimes a gal must make exceptions - and this time I do, because it is the only way I can see the specific film in the cinema, it is not shown in English here in Germany - so it is the only opportunity I have. I refuse to travel abroad just to be able to see films! Hollywood drama we can catch in one of the cinemas, far away from the city centre, but other films? Only the day before the premiere, then they are shown in original language.

OH, can't wait to go to the cinema! That I am looking forward It's not because I go with someone special, because I don't. Or well, I do, it is a special FRIEND. But a friend. A female friend, A good female friend. And she wanted to see the film.

Feels good that I am actually going to see a film. Me! I! I am going to the cinema!!!

(I still don't understand why they insist on dubbing everything in Germany though, I think it is really bad, the sound is as much a part of the production as the photo, if you ask me. Some of my German (male) friends despise subtitles but I despise dubbing more. Subtitles you get used to and you may even learn a bit of language...)

Oh well, enough ramblings from my side, lets just summarise by saying I am looking forward to seeing a film!

Funny how things change

up and down, here and there, and I am totally confused and at the same time I have never been more sure, as me tomorrow what I feel and it may be a world different than what I feel today and where is life taking me and where am I going?

I think someone needs a bit of space and air and time to think - but then again I was just away and had a lot of space and air and time on my hands, and did that help?
Perhaps what I need is going away with a close friend and just go on and on and over and over, and then start fresh with fresh thoughts. Or even go away and not think about anything at all.

Travel to someone, allowing someone to just take care of me, control things and make sure I just do what I never do - follow.

Fact is that I am pretty sure that that is exactly what I need.

But at work everything is great!

Cooking

Practising...
:-)





Update January 24:
Too funny... I learned this morning, after having read an article about the big furniture shop and their food, that one of the biggest exports, from a food perspective, from Sweden, is actually Tex-Mex food?!?
Interesting. I checked several articles and found information that supported that. Most in Swedish but here is a link to an English news article.
Who would have thought! Seems the Swedish Chef knew what he was talking about?!?

Pin codes are not secure

Pin codes are not secure when you get one billion pin codes to keep track of - to have a chance to remember the ones you don't use every day you have to write them down. And as soon as they have been written down they are not very safe anymore...

And dear credit card companies: Great that you want to identify me when I am calling in, but getting me to give them a date that is "especially important" to me, when I come from a big family and have plenty of experience and hence plenty of important dates: Well, guess, what, I am not going to remember which of the important dates I picked, when I have to call you once every second or third year, just to activate my card.

And don't tell me to use the birthdate of my mum or dad. First of all I would still have to remember that I picked that, and which of my parents I actually picked, and second: That is pretty unsafe too, as that at least in Sweden is official information and anyone can find out when my parents were born.

Chubby

Promise to myself: Never work from home when there are still biscuits from Christmas in the freezer.
There are no bisquits in the freezer anymore...

Just saying...

(Update: I am not chubby. But if I often work from home when there are biscuits in the freezer I may soon be... )

Peculiar

The Germans are very peculiar when it comes to smoking. Now, there IS a different between different cities and different states in Germany and NRW has a ridiculous amount of smokers do it may be worse here. But never the less I am going to generalise.

Show a German a bar and he will claim his right to smoke. Germans smoke in bars and many restaurants are so smoked in that the food taste of it... They may have a smoking ban but as soon as the kitchen closes everybody will light up.

When they tried to ban smoking on a country level it just lead to everybody coming up with exceptions and after two months everywhere were totally smoky again.

OK, there are a few exceptions but compared to the rest of EU, this land is foggy. At least from cigarette smoke. No one tells a German where he/she can smoke.

As long as its in a bar or possibly a restaurant that is.

But in the train station it is different?!?

Outside, on the platform, smoking is allowed only in certain areas, areas marked only with a yellow line on the asphalt.

And here it works, here the Germans manage to stick to their little corners. Here they don't seem to have a problem being told where they can smoke and where not? What's up with that?!?

Why in the open air and not in a restaurant? Beats me, I wonder if I'll ever fully understand this country?!? I like it, but understand it? No. I don't know if it's even possible...

There is a Swede living here

I realised Sunday that my mission is almost complete, you can now see that there is a swede living here...

Got lights in almost all my windows now... Because that is what we do, we Swedes, we like our lights. I even have timers for some of them so that there can be a sign of life before I get home, I don't like it when the flat is completely dark when I get home, but I don't like to leave lights on when it's bright outside either.

The Germans, on the other hand, have very little lights, very few lamps and very little lights.

The real hard core Germans could even skip having windows all in all because in Germany they like their curtains covering their windows 24/7.

German villages don't give a very lively impression. They may be, but they don't give that impression...

It is a "funny" video, but it is an important message never the less. There is no such thing as picture perfect, we are all humans... A friend posted it on Facebook, as a joke, but I personally think it is a pretty good message if you get hte irony.

Tell or not tell

I am kind of getting close to someone.

Who blogs.

And I haven't told him that I do too.

How long can I wait until it gets really awkward that I didn't say something? If it is long enough I will end up in the strange zone where I can't tell him at all.

(Actually I kind of like that zone. Perhaps I will just stay there. I really don't think everybody needs to know everything. Just saying.)

And by the way, I am blogging anonymously (kind of) anyhow, he isn't.

Out of sync

After four years in Germany I still haven't figured out why the traffic lights never seem to be in sync. Nor have I been able to find any kind of pattern. If you are walking you can bet that you at most crossings have to stop and wait in the middle, because when your side turns green that other one soon turns red. And it there are three parts to cross, one may be green and the other two red. And which one is green seem to be a lottery.

And it's not that it works swell for the cars either, they have to stop and start and stop and start and stop and start too.

Wonder how much CO2 could be saved if they managed to get the green wave right, i.e. get a working system with as many green lights as possible in a row.

Not to mention in how much better shape many people would be if they could walk without interruption...

No, I don't like stupid jokes about how women are, and men that joke about marriages being such a bad thing shouldn't get married. It is really that simple.  If something is bad, and you have a choice, don't choose it. It is that simple.
OK, women can joke about women, it is OK to joke about yourself, but stupid jokes (not any joke, but  the stupid ones) about how bad someone else is are not funny. They are just stupid.

And that is all I wanted to say.

And it is equally bad when women do nothing but complain about their guys not being able to do this or that, when in reality it is because we don't trust them with it or try to keep the task to ourselves. That is not funny either. It is just stupid and makes us stick to ridiculous preconceptions on what a man is "allowed" to do vs what a woman is "allowed" to do.

No wonder we don't get anywhere when it comes to equal rights.

Can we please try and allow each other to be individuals now?

German toilet lids

Things I don't understand: Why can't German women close the toilet lids? What do people think the lid is for? Decoration?

I don't say anything at work, but I think it. And no, can't blame the men for this one, it is in the ladies room, and there are never any men in there, even though I know the men often get the blame in other countries and other locations, but here it is really only the women using the bathroom.

It even happened to me that I was yelled at, in a club, because I had closed the toilet lid. The person coming in after me got really angry with me. Odd thing to be angry about. And I continue to close the lid, also so that I don't drop anything and it falls into the toilet, because that would be really awful, I definitely don't want to try and fish something out, and flushing, as a friend's father did when I was young(er) and he had accidentally dropped the toothbrushes into the toilet (yes - brushES, they were in a glass that toppled over) is not a good idea, it is so expensive to have the plumbing fixed because something got stuck...

But there are many reasons to close the toilet lid - apparently all reasons not got enough for the Germans because I have never seen so many unclosed lids as here.

On the other hand they also love to keep their bathroom windows open so that it is freezing cold in there, plus the warmer air, the "old" air from the bathroom if you like, is pressed into the rest of the flat/house/what ever shared space  there is. A bit of air never hurt anyone but the Germans take it to extremes. Mid winter, and sure enough, the bathroom window is open...

Well, at least they most of the time have the common sense to switch of the radiators.

My address - is this a Harry Potter moment

Builders were supposed to arrive this morning at 7.
Five minutes past the phone rings, when I pick it up it is them,  the builders. Telling me that my address doesn't exists.

And the weird thing is my address also doesn't exist on Google Maps, nor in some of the systems that Deutsche Post uses. The house next to mine is there, and the one on the other side too, but not my address. Somehow my house is invisible. You can see it on pictures, you just can't find it in any systems. It sometimes worries me.

But maybe it is a positive sign, I live in a fairytale world where nothing is real and I can let my imagination take me anywhere. My world is magical and I just have to remember that it is...

Although the builders manage to find their way in the end, after we start talking about what's on the other side of the street they realise they are on the wrong street and they do indeed manage to find my door and my doorbell, and it doesn't take many minutes, and then they are there...

Getting lost

I don't like shopping. And I really really don't like shopping in big malls. I get a bit claustrophobic and people are in the way. If I can go into the shop from the street at least there is fresh air just before I enter the shop.

But from there to actually getting LOST in a shopping mall?!?

In Egypt I could understand it, there I ended up in a huge mall where some entrances were just entrances and some of the exists were locked, plus there so many different levels and it was built like a labyrinth of sorts.

But today I actually managed to not find my way out of a small mall in Düsseldorf?!?
I stopped paying attention and just wanted to get out and home with all my bags, full of things I had picked up because I needed them (see, I do shop, I just don't see the fun in it, and I am a very efficient - fast - shopper).


Oh well, no more shops for me in a while, obviously I can't handle it.

Light!!!

Can't with words describe how great it feels to leave work at 17 (5pm) in the beginning of January, and it's not even dark yet.

Definitely remember some of the reasons I prefer Germany to Sweden... ;-)

It's only in the western world...

I have no problems with the food when I am travelling - stick to local foods, eat in places where they serve a lot of customers (so that the food isn't sitting for long), and don't eat the European type of food that can be difficult for the locals to know how to handle - heck, even in Sweden and Germany it is the mayonnaise that very often makes people ill - and the same rules  that they write about every year for buffets you need to adhere to when you travel. I don't eat buffet food at all, normally, not if I can avoid it. And if I do, I certainly don't touch the mayo, and also not cream and milk and so forth, as I can't handle lactose very well - actually that is how it all started, I wouldn't eat food that could potentially contain milk products on the buffet, and therefore I was lucky and never got ill when having for example the typical Swedish Christmas buffet in a restaurant before Christmas.

Anyhow, I have written about that before, so I am not going to bore you with it.

But  I really don't have any issues, despite eating street food, also in Indonesia and Egypt, two countries that they say you need to be in for a little while, getting used to the food, and the bacteria specific for that area/region, before you can start enjoying the food. I go straight for the streetfood, just following my own simple rules (OH, and yes, I do carry some antibacterial gel or so so I can "wash" my hands before eating, as soap and water isn't always availabe.
And I never have any problems.

And then I get to Germany and start eating canteen food, and my whole body starts protesting. Not the way other people's bodies are protesting in Egypt and elsewhere, but the German canteen food really doesn't appeal to me, and I really don't feel happy after eating it - I can't explain the feeling but it is as if my body gets semi depressed by the lack of flavours and the greasiness and the saltiness. Yuck!

My New Year resolution for 2012 really must be to cook and bring more lunches myself! I had forgotten how bad bad food is for me. At least the people working in the canteen are very very sweet but it doesn't help much when the food isn't...

More on the topic "labelling people"

A very clever girl, just to continue on the previous topic, and I couldn't agree more, some girls want to play with (and be) super heros, some want to wear pink, just like some boys want princess toys and others want superheros. And some want to play with different things different days. Let them!

Why do we try to create templates and put people in these?

I never understood the templates that people create, I never fitted into them. God knows that there were times I WANTED to fit in but I didn't - and now I am happy I didn't, I am what I am and I am who I am and I am very proud of that.

I am and always was a very stubborn girl, thankfully, so it wasn't very easy to label me, I would go my own way anyhow. I was a bit shy when I was younger, but learned to work with that (even though that took longer than needed, but that was due to other factors).

I am also very happy that my mother stopped trying to get me to dress in certain ways very early on, she would say that I was the one who was going to be comfortable with what I am wearing so I was allowed to dress myself from a very early age - probably a good idea, you need to know which fights to pick! I never wore dresses (or at least very seldom) when I was a kid, I was more comfortable with clothes that would let me climb my trees and discover the forest, and so forth. Which didn't mean I didn't like to dress up from time to time, I remember, with love, still, a beautiful shiny skirt, black background, and bright flowers, that flew beautifully when I was whirling. It was, looking at it now, a pretty hideous dress, all synthetic, but I loved it, I had gotten it from my second cousin, who had outgrown it years before. The thought of that skirt still makes me smile - the feeling of everybody watching when I was spinning round and round and round, admiring the skirt flowing.

But anyhow, this was not going to be about me but about labelling in general...

Got this very well written article from a friend, it's from "Rethinking Schools" - the title being "It is OK to be Neither". Now, I don't really like the title of the article, because at first the title gave me the impression that it is about not being a boy OR a girl, but reading the text the theme of the article is more around not putting certain expectations onto a person just because her/his gender. A girl is a girl regardless if she wears clothes that some people associate more with boys, and the other way around - and it is very important that we are aware of the stereotypes we unfortunately have in society, because only when we are aware we can challenge them, and only when we challenge them, can we get somewhere. When we in the western world fool ourselves to think that we are so equal, and that people in other parts of the world are the only ones that need to change, we are in thin ice. Obliviousness is not OK - we need to be aware. If we aren't aware, how are we ever going to reach equal salaries for the same job, how are we ever going to reach a state where everybody is free to make their own choice, and be who they are?

I have always felt very much like a girl, I am a girl - well, now a woman, but a female, never the less, but I was never comfortable with the labels and with the expectations, the things I "had" to like just because I was a girl/woman. I'm still not, but now not fitting in is something I am very proud of. And I DO fit in in many ways, just not in all. I guess it is what is called social competence and it needs to be practised.

What I really wish for 2012 is a year when boys and girls, gals and guys, ladies and gentlemen, men and women, female and male can be who they are, regardless if that means guys wearing nail polish and women going to Formula 1, or women wearing skirts, and men top hats. We are individuals, aren't we, not a gender?!?

I know I am...

Germans and their windows

There have been times here in Germany when I wondered why they have windows, as the average German always have curtains covering the full window, to stop anyone from seeing someone. Being Scandinavian I need my light.

But where I live now I wish that some people would have curtains closed all the time. Or at least when in the bathroom, when the toilet is right in front of the window. It bugs me, I really don't like to see my neighbours in the bathroom, especially not on the toilet. That is a bit too much. And we are not talking about a tiny little light either, we are talking lights so bright that they could have been used where surgeries are performed...  How rude, on a scale, is it to send a blinder over, anonymously? Because this is what I am contemplating...

Or a small light that gives them some cosy light instead of the sharp and very bright light that almost allows me to see WHAT they are reading in the bathroom...

Children and colour

A friend sent me this link, I wish I had been in Brisbane to see it myself - the artist Yayoi Kusama created a room all covered in white and then gave children stickers and they helpded decorating...  You can read more about it in Colossal, a magazine (online) that writes about art and design.
I love it, it is such a strong expression, but then again, the stickers are coloured stickers, not the stickers that you find here and there and that would make a much messier impression.

I'll keep an eye open for this artist, I want to learn more about her!

The Citadel, Cairo

After having been to Cairo, and seen a lot and done a lot, I have some ideas what to do and in what order - I'm a semi skilled traveller by now and prefer to make my own itinerary, often depending on what I feel like that specific day. But I also learn with every trip I make. Luckily, because life would be boring if one didn't learn and didn't try to develop, wouldn't it?


For Cairo I would really recommend that one starts with what I had last on the sightseeing part of my tripo, namely the Citadel. Cairo is a big city- much bigger than one may understand when one is there. You hear it, and you see the hectic traffic, and you hear the numbers - but you don't really understand it. I spent a lot of time walking around, crossing the Nile, walking here and there, strolling around in the bazar (the Souks), looking around, meeting people, and so on. I understood that it was big. But not how big.

And then I went to Citadel, and then I understood. The Citadel (link to Wikipedia), built to defend Cairo from the crusaders (and one really had to have defence against the crusaders, they were not exactly friendly, there is an interesting book called "The Crusades according to the Arabs" by Amin Maalouf, that I would really recommend everbody to read, gives you an interesting view into the whole era, but from another angle), is placed on a height, overlooking the city. While the citadel in itself is interesting, as its a part of the history and very beautiful, especially with the mosques, and there are some museums up there too, the most interesting part may well be that you get up a bit and you get to see Cairo from above - a magnificent sight! I was also lucky enough to actually have blue sky when I was there, and that's when I really realised how vaste the city is!

I could see places I had walked, areas I had tried to reach, and I almost got dizzy from seeing it, it is just so enormous, and goes on for block after block after block, and it seems to be in a form of chaos, but it is an interesting and fascinating chaos, a chaos I could stand and watch for a long time...

If, no, when I return to Cairo, and if I come with someone who hasn't been, I will be visiting the Citadel again. The citadel, and then down to the river, the Nile, the Nile that is the reason why Cairo is where it is, the Nile that is the very reason Egypt could live and bloom the way it did in the past, before modern transport and watering systems...