Champagne - and I can't go???

Ironic. I get a VIP invitation, one of the few, and this time addressed directly to me, not because I know someone and get to tag along. It's a new champagne bar that is opening. And I CAN'T GO!!! Because I am not here then. AAAHHHHH.... Life is not fair!

(Although I am very happy about where I will be when this is too...)

Melancholic

Melancholic is the word.

I don't want the summer to end.

Now I may really lose it...

There is a very very annoying high pitch sound in the air. It is in Bilk, around Martinstrasse. It doesn't seem to bother others but it is bothering me to death. I can't sleep with this noise. It goes through everything. And I think I may actually lose it this time. For real...

Problem is also that I can't identify where the heck it comes from but I went for a walk with a friend/acquaintance yesterday, and he could also hear the noise. It sounds like a hoover being on somewhere far away, or a TV with the test picture and signal, except it is outside and I suspect that it is high enough so that most old men can't hear it. And I can't identify where it is coming from!!!

Somehow I wouldn't be surprised if I hear about some absurd behaviour of the people around in this area soon. It MUST affect the others too, even though they are not aware of the reason they sleep badly...

It's been on for about a week.

HELP!!!!

Not in a great mood

This time of the year I need to do good things, preferably things that are aiming at taking care of myself, spoiling myself. I do get a bit sad when the seasons are changing, at least when we go from Summer to Autumn. I know I will be happy again when the autumn is here for real, when the storms are blowing and it feels like my soul is cleaned out of old murky things, when I can crawl in under a warm blanket and just be, but I love the summer, I love not feeling cold, love going for a walk in the evening and it is still warm, I love how people are out, are social, and how everything is easy. When the summer dies I die a bit too, it's like a part of my soul is dying, and perhaps it is - although I know, I know that the part of me that loves the summer will raise again, come back to life, when the light starts to return. But it doesn't matter, even though I know I will feel better when the autumn is here for real, when the leaves are done changing colours, and although I know that once spring comes back, I will come back too, I am still getting sad. I can't help it, no logic works on the feelings - and it is the same every year.

One would think that I would be prepared for it and that I would know how to handle it, but I don't. But at least I have learned, over the years, what makes it easier, what can take away my thoughts from it for at least a while.

Exercise - which reminds me, I have to try and get into my routine of a (short) running tour in the morning.

Massage - found an excellent Asian place in the city, in the Japanese quarters. It's a Chinese place, and I have tried their food massage before. Today I had a full body massage. Lovely. Feels a lot better... Massage is by the way pretty new, as a somewhat regular treat. In Sweden I'd never go for massage, it was way to expensive and way to difficult to get a time, I like to be able to just drop in...

Going to the hairdresser. Needless to say my hair is pretty short now. And has a new colour... I don't get it dyed at the same time as I cut it though, instead I spread it out nowadays so that I can go more often. I can only have it cut so many times, it needs to have some time to grow out too... Funny enough I have really become a regular, it seems... I walk in, like today, it looks very full, I ask if they have time for me, and they MAKE time! Just like that! Wow! And they do a darn good job too! It's not like they just rush through it but really go over it carefully. The advantage of speaking German with an accent I guess, they may be thinking that I am some kind of cool celebrity, don't you think...?

There are a bunch of other things too, of course. A nice glass of champagne, a cup of hot chocolate, Fresh prunes. Ice cream at my favourite ice cream place. And so forth...

I love this place

Just so that there are no doubts: I LOVE this place, this city and the people here. There is always a lot to see and do in Düsseldorf and the surrounding area. I may find some things a bit odd but I truly love it and I feel very much at home here.

Afraid of wasps

When I was a little girl I learned the hard way that wasps and bees weren't always that fun - I managed to get stung plenty of times. On the other hand, I was not allergic so it was not a big deal really - it stung badly but that was it, and with some remedy it didn't take to long to get rid of the pain either. But anyhow...

My mum was, I guess, still a bit worried. It seemed that not only mosquitoes but also wasps and bees were indeed drawn to me, and who wants their kid to be stung by either? So mum taught me a trick: Sit still. Sit still and the bee/wasp will eventually disappear. This part was probably more for me; If you start waving and shouting you may annoy especially the wasps who are a bit more aggressive and them may feel threatened and actually sting. It made sense to me because every time I was stung it was either because I was overreacting and waving, or I sat on the bee/wasp, stepped on it, or so. So I listened to my mum, and learned.

The other thing she taught me is the thing I am to this day a lot more careful about. This is something that stuck - and also what I think she was most worried about; You don't want a bee or wasp sting in your mouth. So check before you drink something, or before you eat something, getting stung in your throat or on your tongue may cause problems breathing as it may swell up... And now to the story itself:

I had as I said been taught by mum to do the following if a wasp showed up:

• Sit still
• Close your mouth - no wasps in the mouth.

So this day, I must have been about three-and-a-half, four, I was out on my tricycle, when a wasp started buzzing around my head. I froze, as I had been told - I was a very obedient child, at least when it came to certain things. And I waited. I also shut my mouth, and I waited. And I waited. And I waited.

Wasp still there...

And I waited.

And I waited...

And I waiteeeed....

Still followed by the wasp. After what felt like a million year or at least twenty minutes but possibly was just five to ten minutes, my mother looked out through the kitchen window (yes, back then kids could absolutely be out playing on their own). I remember seeing her, and she looked a bit surprised. Suspect it was my frozen posture she reacted on. She signed to me something that looked like "what is going on?". I didn't look straight at her, but continued to sit absolutely still. No response. So she walks up to the terrace door, and opens it, and hollers to me: "What is going on".

Still no answer. Now remember, I was supposed to keep my mouth shut and sit still.... But now it was difficult. Mum hollers again: "What are you doing?".
And from the corner of my mouth, without opening it more than the tiniest bit, and while I keep a close look at the bee/wasp buzzing around - I need to keep checking it so that it doesn't fly in when it has a chance - I hiss at my mum
"Wasp".

Well, I HAD to say it in as few words as possible, didn't I, the more I would say, the more there would be an opening for it to fly in through!
Mum doesn't hear me so she asks me to repeat, and I hiss again, louder this time, "WASP".

And finally mum gets the message and comes out and chases the silly wasp away....

My mum, the hero. Risking getting stung she actually comes out and MOVES close to the wasp. I really admired her then, also for rescuing me from this very, in my eyes, dangerous and tough situation... And funnily enough I don't think I will ever forget the feeling, both when I was sitting there, totally alone on my bike - at least that's what it felt like - and no one was there, and what if the wasp would get into my mouth and sting me and I would die and no one would notice before it was too late (yes, sorry, had a dramatic side already then...), and also the relief when mum finally came to my rescue. My mum. The real-time version of Indiana Jones, before Indiana Jones was even recorded. A normal mum that becomes a super hero, just like Indiana Jones is a professor who turns into a hero...

Did I mention that I really needed to go to the bathroom too? That added to the stress, mind you...


PS! Do you know that bees only sting once, then they die? There is a hook on their stinger and they will tear their body if they use it, and hence they avoid stinging as long as they can - who wants to die. The wasps are different, they can in theory sting more times... Hence they can afford to be more aggressive...

Breakfast and elections

On Sunday I am going to be a good - not citizen but resident. I am for the first time allowed to actually vote in Germany and I am proud of it. I will to my duty and vote. I can't vote in country elections as I am not a citizen, that I have to do for Sweden, but I can vote in local elections.
So Sunday I will first have breakfast with friends and then I am off to vote. Still reading up on what the different parties stands for, chosing is not exactly easy. In Sweden it can be difficult enough but there I at least grew up with the parties and I have had time to learn what many of them stand for and what there core values are, here I have to learn, I have to start from scratch.

No logic - no food but dangerous stuff?

I don't understand the logic. Shops are not allowed to be open in Germany on a Sunday. Of course there are a few exceptions, like the shops at the railway station and in the airport, but in general. So you can't get food etc on a Sunday but have to plan ahead, or stick to a restaurant.

But SOLARIUMS (sun beds) can be open???

So no healthy home cooked food, but you can go and do things that are not healthy, like going to the solarium...? Odd is what it is.

By the way, why does the Germans insist on solariums. There are some in Sweden but it is far less used there nowadays, but in Germany it seems the 80-ies never stopped. Must admit that personally I am not so keen on aging in advance. I'd rather be pale and wrinkle free ;-)

(Or try the spray tan...)

I am curious - who are you?

I am very curious; Who are you? Are you close family? Are you a friend I already know, or are you a friend I haven't met yet? Have you been here before? What brought you here?

I do know I have readers that I don't know, and I know I have some I know.

Do you have a story to tell?

OR, that is actually a stupid question, everybody has a story to tell. So tell me yours!

And all of a sudden I am transported to Sweden

Driving up from Rheingau (Rhein wine district, which I visited over the weekend with a friend) I am all of a sudden struck by it:
There are similarities, BIG similarities between Sweden and Germany, at least between parts of Sweden and parts of Germany. I all of a sudden feel that wow, I have to turn right when I get up the hill because I am all of a sudden back on E6 from Varberg towards Göteborg, close to Kungsbacka, after Frillesås, and it is exit 59, my exit, that is coming up. But where is the church that I expect to see on the right side?

Almost a bit scary...

And for the first time I actually feel homesick and miss Sweden, but more I actually miss the people. I don't want to live in Sweden, I am not comfortable in Sweden, life in Sweden doesn't suit me, I have always been the odd one out in Sweden - at least that is how I felt - where here it is expected, because I am Swedish and not German. But that doesn't mean that there aren't fantastic things about Sweden and it will always be the country I was born in. And the people. While I have fantastic friends here in Düsseldorf and in the world, I miss my Swedish friends and family too. I can't just pop over for a coffee. But then again popping over for coffee or a drink is not something I have done for ages in Sweden either, people in Sweden are simply to busy and on a tight schedule...

But never the less, I miss you guys!
And yet I know that if I would go to Sweden for a visit it would be the same thing as usual - I am the one on a tight schedule and I run around like mad to get to see as many as possible... I can't "afford" to just visit one or two of you and really spend time with anyone in Sweden because everybody is pulling at me and I feel I need to see everybody: Parents, siblings, cousins, other family, friends... And while this is the life I have chosen and while I love being here and certainly don't want to be anywhere else right now I sometimes which I could easily just beam myself across the world to whomever I want to see right now...

Today on the train

On the commuter train today. Female lute player practising. Very nice and relaxing. Thanks!

... *sigh*

I am not in the very best of moods today. Had a great weekend, I am very lucky to be surrounded by great people, so I don't really have anything to complain about. And I don't want to whine on the blog, so I am not going to. But I am feeling a bit down, for certain reasons. Therefore I may be a bit quiet for a while. Either that or I will write a lot about things that are actually great to
a: Keep reminding myself that there is a lot to be grateful about.
b: If I think about good things maybe I can keep my mind from wandering into other areas.

Most likely I'll however grab a good book and you will find me under a tree dreaming about other worlds and other realities though. When I am not at work that is...

It is good to be in Düsseldorf

25 degrees C (77 F) at 22:00 (10 PM). That is warmer than most of the Gothenburg summer days this year... Well, it is even warmer than most of the summer days a GOOD summer in Gothenburg, or at least as warm. And in Gothenburg we are talking when it is at the warmest, mid day, compared with late in the evening or even at night here... Happy that I am in Germany :-)

(That said we have had a bit of a weird summer here too, every second day weather - warm, not so warm, warm, not so warm, warm, not so warm - you get the point. In average it hasn't been bad though, I have not had to wear a jacket except for possibly two or three days the whole summer, and that was early in the morning or due to rain. So all in all it has been very good, even if it hasn't stayed at around 30 degrees C for weeks in a row...)

Choose your colour carefully...

If you have a very fancy car, like, for example, a Porsche, you need to consider what colour you have it painted in. Don't choose the same colour that all German taxis are painted in. A kind of creamy white-yellow. It is an OK colour, sure, but everybody will think that your fancy car is a fancy taxi. You don't really want that, do you???

And of course this has nothing to do with reality. Or, well, it has. I saw that car today, and I did wonder what kind of taxi it was. Sorry... :-)

Here is that mineral water...

Here is a better picture showing a closeup of that Mineral water ad that I talked about earlier.

Hitta vilse - to lose and find

Travelling to me is as important as the air I breath, it is through my travels I am finding myself, and it's through my travels the restless soul in me find some peace. Perhaps I am running from something, or perhaps I am searching for something new, but this I know: I have to travel. It's in my blood. I feel at home wherever I am, where my toothbrush lives, I live...

But I don't have to go far. A weekend trip or even a daytrip will also do the trick.

What do you do to tame your soul?

The cleanest mineral water in Europe???

I'm not sure it you can see it here but this commercial talks about "the cleanest mineral water in Europe". With 50% fruit? How can that be considered water? Isn't that a soft drink???

Well, there are some things I will never understand. And I don't believe the 50% fruit either, it would be much less liquid then...

Closeup of the add you'll find here - couldn't post both in one as I blogged via mail this time...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

This time I have remembered. I have actually thrown away my nice smelling sunscreen for the face. Because now there is no doubt anymore. It is the #¤%& (ugly swearword) sunscreen that is the bad guy here... I am ITCHING!!! Happened in Malaysia too, when I was there over Christmas/New Year, but I didn't realise then that it was the sunscreen. I first thought it was something I had eaten, but then I suspected it was the water or the soap I was using, but now I realised it is the cream itself. Used it for my extra sensitive skin, i e the face and the neck, and the chest. The skin I want to really protect. OK, I have no wrinkles, the tiny ones that were there have been filled up because I'm a bit swollen but I prefer other ways of not getting wrinkles. Scratching my ears, my neck, my chin, my cheeks, and worst: My eyes. And that's what I get from being careful...

OH, and the brand; Same brand that I normally use and that my face loves. Learning: Don't assume that something is good for you just because other products by that producer is. Test. Test. Test. Test!!!

Talking about that all companies making products for your face should create little test bottles that you can use to test the effects.

Well, guess I have to get another cream for the face for the next longer trip I make. I don't sunbath but it is going to be difficult to avoid the sun completely, and I need and want my protection...

Careful out in the sun, folks!

Oooohhhhh!!!!!

Now: Gametime!!!

I, Robot

...is a good little movie that is very entertaining and it is actually something as unusual as a Hollywood production with action that seems to anyhow have some sort of message built in, i e something else than hero meets beautiful woman and rescues her from bad guys, and saves the world in the meantime. Well, it has that TOO, but it is at the same time provoking some interesting thoughts. And Will Smith is on top of that very handsome.

But that was not what I wanted to write about.

I wanted to say that I am a robot. Or I will be! After years of wanting (yes, I do insinuate on purpose. I am Swedish after all...) the splendid game Roborally is finally, finally, finally on it's way to me! This has to be one of the best games invented. For years it was sold out and could not be found, but a few years ago it was printed again, or actually, it was a second edition that came out, with some new updates. I was slow and missed buying. Haven't really been searching for it, but now, by coincidence, I found it on a website recommended by a friend, when searching for another game. So soon, very soon, I will allow myself and my friends to turn into robots and play boardgames until the sun comes up again!!!

Just in case you wonder where I have disappeared off to... (Delivery expected in a few days).

Sleeping pill

Bought the wonderful book Momo by Michael Ende. Read it before, but it was a long time ago and I thought it was about time I read something in German, as a training thing. I read the newspaper on a regular basis, I read glossy magazines from time to time, but never a real book. And somewhere I have to start. I am not going to read something that doesn't interest me, if I am bored it doesn't bite. I'd rather have a challenge and read something that I find interesting. And Momo IS, I was going to read it again anyhow - that one and "Never Ending Story", which also was written by Michael Ende.

But so far Momo has just proven to be a great sleeping pill... Not because it is boring but because I have to focus not to miss anything. And going to bed too late, as I do summertime (need less sleep when it is light) doesn't really help either. So I pick up the book, read the first couple of sentences, and then my eyes automatically starts to close...

I'll keep on trying though! After all I KNOW it will be worth it.

Can I have MY head back, so that I can return my mum's?

I must have misplaced my head somewhere. I didn't know, the outside still looks like me, but there is something wrong on the inside, it is my mum that is showing up. OK, not completely, there is a bit of me still there, and a part of my dad too, but an important part has been replaced with a part from my mum. I wonder if that was a spare part she had lying around or if she perhaps has mine?

What I'm on about? It's these early mornings! I have never slept that long in the morning but this is getting ridiculous, just like my mother I wake up very early in the morning - and I feel ready to get up! Weekend? Doesn't matter. Now it is even spreading to weekdays. My mum hasn't set an alarm for as long as I remember, I don't even know if she knows how to - don't think she ever bothered to look into it, considering it hasn't been needed. Why would you learn something that you don't need to know?

And now I am slowly getting there... I am still me because unlike mum I can stay up very late - not always, not if I had several long nights in a row, which not all understand - but when it comes to waking up I am my mum. It doesn't matter when I go to bed, I still wake up at an insane hour. Sleeping in is sleeping until 8, most of the time I wake up around 6. I MAY be able to fall asleep again but it is only a maybe. And never later than around 8-ish. It is ANNOYING - especially if I indeed had a late night. I don't wake up because I am done sleeping but because it is time to get up. But it is NOT when I have only slept a few hours. I repeat, it is NOT time to get up when I have only slept for a few hours.

Hrmpf...

European men again

A friend posted a link to a survey where the Swedish and Norwegian men came out on top, as great partners. Several reasons were brought up, one of them that Swedish and Norwegian men naturally share a big part of the household work. It's true, most Swedish men ARE actively taking part managing the home and family. I personally think we still have a bit to go in many areas - women are still often the "project leaders" but the men do a lot of work too, except they sometimes have to be told. But that is not what this was supposed to be about. What I wanted to say was:

Of course the woman who doesn't exactly put European men high on the list had something to say about this too... So now I know; Swedish women pays all the bills! So it is anyhow a bad thing to be in Sweden if you are a woman, even IF the men are good...

I had no clue that that was the case, I was silly enough to think that this was shared, but who am I to tell... I am only Swedish. And so are many of my Swedish friends... Odd, isn't it :-)

Beware of European men!!!

A while ago, when I was out with friends, a woman joined us. Middle age (well, I thought she was but in lousy judging ages). She started to talk to a couple of my friends, she obviously knew them from before. Well, I couldn't help but overhearing the conversation. And that was one of the most bitter ones I have ever heard! My, was she frustrated... What the topic was? Men...

After overhearing the conversation I now know that there are no good men in Europe. All European men are horrible, unequal men who just bosses women around and treat them badly in general... And not just at work, even more so in their homes. Funny enough that is very different from the picture I have. It's true that the work climate in Germany often seem to prioritize men over women, and that many women are the ones who stay at home with the kids but that is not unique for Germany. It is also true that some of the Mediterranean countries have more of a macho culture but that is when I compare it with for example Sweden. There are a lot of truly fantastic European men! In all the European countries. Of course there are some "not so good" ones too, but that's more due to individuals, not so much to culture. Well, some of it is down to culture too, of course, but it is also our responsibility as women to say what we can accept and what we can't. It's not like they were born jerks and always will keep being jerks - some just needs to have things they learned from growing up pointed out to them...

I love our European men. Heck, I love all sensible great people that are fun to talk to and be around regardless of nationality - regardless of gender. And I dare say that I have met quite a few people over the years, from all corners of the world...
Most of them fantastic people.

The air is full of sounds

I love the way the air is full of sounds. Somewhere there are some chimes, a person is cutting the hedge, the train passes, church bells, a chain saw, the sound of high heels against the asphalt, the ice cream van passing. The only thing missing is the sound of the seagulls...

Taxi drivers - know where to search for me...

So if anything would ever happen to me, check with the taxi drivers. It is slightly creepy actually. Düsseldorf is a fairly big city, for a Swede anyhow, about the same size as the second biggest city in Sweden, Gothenburg (Göteborg), and there are a lot of people coming and going - a figure that I heard was 250 000 people commuting into the city every day.
We have quite a bit of taxis in the city. Since taxi is fairly economical in Germany, especially now that I don't pay for a car, I do take taxi now and then. Sometimes every week, sometimes less often - it depends how late I am out, and if I am late for a meeting or so. But it's not that I take taxis every day and as mentioned there are a lot of taxi drivers. And the taxi drivers are pretty busy, they have a lot of different customers.

Yet it has happened to me several times lately that the taxi driver that pics me up don't just remember that I have travelled with him before, he also remembers from where I went, to where, and they have memorized where I live! It is a little bit scary, actually... And we are not talking about "Aha, you went with me earlier today" or "You went with me yesterday", we are talking about taxi rides that I did a month earlier. And still they remember.

Or perhaps is there nothing creepy at all, it's just that I make such an impression...?
;-)

The children's pool

The Children's Pool, Südpark, Düsseldorf. And this is just a small part of it! You can splash water, there are pumps, little waterfalls, and so forth. Düsseldorf is really the place to be if you are a kid - as long as your parents know where to look there are so many things for kids here.

Guess that is why the symbol of Düsseldorf is a child doing handstand...

(And by the way; You don't have to have all the imagination yourself, there are books that you can buy, books with tips.)

Coffee anyone?

Look at that, who can resist coffee and cake when it is served with beautiful Swedish colours? Not me anyhow! Especially not when the sun is shining and the sky is blue, and you can sit outside and drink it.

This picture is actually taken some days ago, a beautiful Sunday. I have discovered a new part of Düsseldorf, the wonderful Südpark, which is connected to Volksgartenpark. As you can hear from the name it is in the south of Düsseldorf - Süd meaning south. It is actually quite easy in Düsseldorf; Südpark in the south, Nordpark in the North, Rheinpark at the Rhein (the river)... If you stick to these three parks you will find them quite easily. Other parks may be slightly trickier but not impossible.

Anyhow, Südpark (together with Volksgartenpark) is a wonderful park, it is the Central Park of Düsseldorf, I'd say. Big, with lots of things to see and do, full of bicycles, runners, people out for a stroll, a mini zoo for the kids, playgrounds, a lake, a pool for the kids, and so forth. The coffee house/restaurant close to the mini zoo (and shop with organic food) is run by a group of handicapped people that are really sweet, and the food is good, the cakes excellent, and the prices are reasonable too. I love to stop there when I am out cycling, having something to drink, and listening to the kids playing.

Saturday - how to get additional hours

Saturday was one of those crazy days. Several events that I wanted to attend and several of them happening to be at the same time. Hectic... Luckily I started with Yoga and that in itself was so relaxing that it felt like I gained a few extra hours in between. Have a wonderful yoga teacher here in Düsseldorf, an English speaking yoga teacher. He hosts the classes at his own place though, so it's only once a month, and the group is very small, but on the other hand that is in a way very good, because he really has time to see us, help each of us, to ensure that we get the most out of our training.

I feel a platonic love for my Yoga teacher, simply because he is so good at helping me relax. It's completely innocent (and even if it wasn't, he is gay and happily married, so it wouldn't do much regardless) but he is the best yoga teacher I have had. Not that I have had that many... Pilates I have done a lot more in the past, not so much yoga. And a lot more doesn't constitute a lot, just more than yoga. Anyhow... Lost track there for a bit... Yoga: Great for body and mind, although I AM sore the day after..

Guess it didn't help that I went to the wine shop after my yoga class and bought 12 bottles of wine, i e two boxes, that I had to drag home.... They are heavy these things!